The Thoughts of a Baby...

The Thoughts of a Baby...

  Autor Psih. Ioana Laura Pelcaru Data: 03.05.2007

The Thoughts of a Baby...
There aren't too many months since I have been brought to this world no matter what I wanted. However, I am trying to figure out the reason why I exist and I am right here. 

In the short time I have spent with those whom I understand are "my parents", I found out that I should be happy I was born and I am part of their live. Also, I heard that I should be grateful to my mother and father. This is a small dilemma for me. I don't understand why I should be grateful to them. Nobody asked for my opinion, nobody asked me if I wanted to come into this world. Mom and dad say that they wanted a baby just like me a lot. I am glad their wish came true but this is what they wanted and not me. They wanted a baby to be fulfilled, to have a purpose and why not, to be more and more bound together. I have also heard the opinion according to which they gave birth to me in order to have someone to give them a glass of water when they are old. Mom wanted me for her to feel like a real woman, to leave something behind her. However, I am told that I should be grateful. But why? Shouldn't I be grateful for something I wanted too? Mom and dad satisfied their own wishes, needs, and despite this, it's me who should thank them. They considered they did a good thing for me. Or even more than this, considering that they didn't ask me if I wanted to join them, now they have the right to decide regarding what I like or not, what I should do, regarding my life (I understand that this is the name for the time spent together). 

Why do adults think that it is such a big happiness to be born? Since I know myself, I remember just one period when I was really happy: when my mother kept me in her belly. This is where I was fine. It was warm, comfortable, safe. Nothing and nobody could touch me. Everything was comfortable and nice. Mom made sure to offer me all the best things, to walk me or to comfort me. I could so anything without being afraid that I could be wrong or I could hurt myself. From time to time, I could hear my dad too. He seemed very funny to me as he was touching my mother's belly when I was kicking it with my hand or leg. Since then, the adult seemed weird to me. I was in the mood for playing, pushing, kicking and they were caressing me. I realized that they don't know how to have fun. It used to be so good... I have never understood why my mother didn't want me in her belly anymore. It is true that the playground got shorter but it was so good and comfortable. 

When mom decided to bring me into this world (she did not ask for my opinion either) it was horrible. I was taken from my place where I was feeling so protected, and brought into a place where I was feeling in danger. This is why I cried so much. Suddenly, I woke up in a very weird place, not warm or comfortable at all. My nose felt weird, my eyes were itching. Despite all these, everybody was happy around me. They seemed mean: people who I did not know and even mom and dad. I was crying, scared and they were laughing. Mom seemed to be happy that I wasn't in her belly anymore. 

Finally, I barely got used to this. I started seeing all kind of interesting and weird things. My mom tells me they are colors. I like watching them although I don't see their meaning. 

The funniest thing was to see how my mom and dad look like. I am still laughing when I think of it. They look different than I imagined. They are... big! Now I understand why my dad didn't know how to play with me. They were trying to amuse me by making faces or all types of sounds and they don't realize how foolish they seem when doing this. They are like bigger babies. How can I feel safe next to babies like me? 

Oh, not to forget and tell you about the toys. They brought all kinds of objects, noisier and noisier. They think I like playing with them. Actually, I am curious to see what the noises are like. As I was saying, mom and dad are very immature. They have no idea how to have fun and more than this, I think that they need to play more than I do. Well, it does not matter anymore, I got used to them. What upsets me is the fact that when I throw the toys up in the air to see what happens to them and what the noises are, they think I want to damage them and they reproach it to me. I think they are afraid they will not have what to play with anymore. Yes, this must be it. 

Mom and dad feel they control themselves, me and that they know everything. This is funny. In order to show them that they are not the best, do you know what I do? I start crying even when nothing hurts me, I am not hungry or sleepy. You should see them how insecure they become, they are anxious, they lose control and don't know what to do. This is when I like it most, as they give me all their attention and please me. These are the moments which make me feel stronger, and I realize that they don't control me entirely although they were the ones to decide to give birth to me. 

Finally, I think I will get used to everything that surrounds me. There are interesting things too. I am curious to discover more and more and I think I will begin feeling safe here, little by little. However, in the future I would like my parents to ask their babies too if they want and are ready to be born, and to make the decisions together. 

You, the adults, should know that us, the babies are stronger than we seem. Sometimes, we are even stronger than you. And I don't think that one of us should be grateful to the other, because on your turn, you can learn from our behavior same as us, the little ones, learn new things from you. You just have to want it and admit that you don't know everything. 

Kiss you all, and I am very curious to see what's next for me!








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