The Baby - in His Own Room or With the Parents?

Babies  Babies - rss

The Baby - in His Own Room or With the Parents?

  Autor NN Team Data: 06.09.2010

The Baby - in His Own Room or With the Parents?

The appearance of a new family member brings many changes in the daily routine. Some prospective parents anticipate how this important event will change their life and prepare things to the smallest detail. Others, perhaps more superstitious, or invaded by the joy of having a child, forget practical essential issues.

One of the most important such matters is baby's place in the house. Even if in the first few years he will stay longer near the mother, he has learned that a certain space, a corner of that house is his. Thus, he forms his easy sense of self, ego, personality.

There are cases where there is no possibility that the baby have his own room. There are many families who live in small apartments, with grandparents and other relatives. Even so, the baby may have a place of his own (i.e. his crib next to that of parents and a shelf for toys).

In general, if there are no material problems or health (the baby must constantly be monitored), it is better to have his room. When the baby is brought from motherhood, especially when he is the first baby, he seems so fragile that parents are afraid to leave him alone in the room. But be careful not to sleep on his belly (he does not roll by himself in the first 2-3 months of life), to hear his cry or if he gets up, he may be left with confidence in his room, in his crib.

An unpleasant aspect of the division of the same room with the child (even when he is very small) is the lack of privacy of parental couple. Involuntarily, the child may become a witness of erotic scenes, which he doesn't understand but interprets it in a phantasmagorical way - and that can induce much later, psychiatric disorders or sexual dynamics.

Some mothers, justifying that this way are closer to the baby to breastfeed, keep him into the marriage bed or they sleep separately with the child to protect their husband of awakenings during the night. Behind this behavior hides in fact, the anxiety of a mother who is afraid to leave her baby alone or the unconscious desire to separate from her husband. Both are harmful to the child, and generate fear of life, self-doubt and feelings of guilt. Later for some children who slept in parents' bed it will be very difficult to leave from there and consequently to quit maternal addiction. Also, such a decision affects the lives of the couple, one partner, usually the man (not being as much absorbed by the child) looking to get attention and affection in a different relationship.

Even if, being so small, the babies awaken the desire to protect, you should not also forget that your role as parents is to guide their steps in life, presenting and getting them accustomed to the world around them and helping them to become mature and independent persons. And give them confidence that they can themselves (stay in their room, for example) is a prerequisite of development.

Read the English version of this article: The Baby - in His Own Room or With the Parents?